Jetstar and me are over.

I have to say, I used to be completely perplexed by the pricing of airline tickets.

How come, if I wanted to Auckland - Queenstown on the 15th of November and return on the 18th of November (just randomly selected days), it could cost me anywhere from $268 (Jetstar) return to $824 (Air New Zealand on a fully flexible fare) ?

I'm pleased to report that I now have the answer, the difference is getting there.

And I've worked this out the hard way.

This year, for one reason or another, I have spent loads of time flying. If it's for work, I'll go Air New Zealand but if I'm paying for it, I'm seduced by the lowest fare. If it's a matter of twenty dollars or so, I'll go for Air New Zealand, otherwise I'll suck it in and go for, you guessed it, Jetstar.

To be fair, generally they've always been pretty reliable - however when it's come back to bite me on the arse, it's bitten me hard.

The first time was, when my flight that should have landed at 9pm landed at 2 a.m. That was due to fog - but the worst thing about that was that my Jetstar flight was the ONLY flight that had been affected by fog.

After that flight I swore and declared Jetstar were dead to me. Stomped around trumpeting, 'Never again!', 'Fat Chance Airlines', etc etc.

However.

Due to a combination of things - time heals all wounds and I'm very shallow - less than three weeks later I found myself merrily checking in at the Jetstar counter.

However after my latest Jetstar debacle my relationship with Jetstar is OVER. Fried. Ended.

I'd done a last minute change of flight, changing it for a sparrow's fart the morning after I had originally booked . I needed to be on a shoot by 9 a.m and this flight got me in at 7.40 a.m. I checked the weather, which was going to be good, and booked away. Things were going to plan.

Arrived at the airport at 5.45 am. Things still going to plan.

Stood in queue. Read the television screen : CANCELLED.

Plan Royally Screwed.

To cut a very long story short, why did they cancel mid check in? Weather ? Mechanical issues? Earthquake? Crew been abducted by aliens ?

Nope, nope, nope and possibly.

Crewing issues.

Crewing issues ?

How come you discover, half way through your check in that you have crewing issues?

At least the time when my flight departed five hours later than it had been originally scheduled, they texted me four hours earlier to tell me about it.

Anyway, I screamed around to Air New Zealand and got myself on the next flight, which got me to work 15 minutes late. Air New Zealand saved the day.

But you know what the irony is? All the money I have saved by flying Jetstar this year I blew on that Air New Zealand flight.

When I went to write this blog I did a Google search to find out other people's Jetstar stories and my search didn't just reveal stories - but an entire site dedicated to disgruntled Jetstar passengers titled, unsurprisingly Don't Fly Jetstar. It makes for an entertaining wee read.

Currently Jetstar's tag line is 'Low fares, good times.'

I have a new one for them. 'Jetstar:fly with us if you don't need to get there'.

Anyone else been Jetstarred?

Another question.

Is this photo for real or has someone photoshopped man-arms on to Madonna?

Question.

Could someone please tell me why telecommunications companies, banks and other such organisations say to you at the end of a call, 'Is there anything else I can help you with?'

I know that they're supposed to be asking in goodwill but it always seems to me to be the most pointless question they could ask. And I'm sure all the people who ask that question get really sick of all the smarty pants who say things like:

'Yes, I'm having trouble finding the lever to open my bonnet on my car, you wouldn't know where it is, would you?'

'The winning lotto numbers would be a start'.

'You don't happen to know a good mechanic, do you ?'

Also it's not like they're trying to upsell, 'Would you like fries like that?'

So if someone could explain the logic behind why hundreds of support staff are forced to endure the daily torture of having to ask that question, that would be peachy.

And is it just a New Zealand thing, or is this an international problem?

Sigh.

(Small font means I'm whispering).

Some people try and rid the world of famine and poverty and then there's shallow and flippant types like me who go on crusades to rid the world pointless questions.

Bloody lucky I'm not an animal cause Noah would have never let me on the Arc.

I turn my back for a couple of decades and suddenly the Street is not what it used to be.

Okay, so I'm not it's target audience but check out this from Sesame Street. (Ten bucks says you don't last longer than thirty seconds).



Me, I prefer vintage Sesame Street.

I love Oscar. Think Johnny is pretty special as well.

And while we're talking about Oscar, did you know he started out orange ? And that in Germany he's called Rumpel aus der Tonne which means Rumpel from the wheelie bin.

Being an uber star, he's featured in a handful feature films and few other telly shows (Scrubs, The Simpsons, Southpark to name a few) but I do love what he said in The Great Muppet Caper. Miss Piggy had just hurled Peter Ustinov (now she's one broad who catapults the term 'high maintenance' into a whole different league) into a pile of boxes and Oscar emerges and says, 'Hey, what's all the racket?'

Peter Ustinov: 'What are you doing here?'

Oscar: 'A very brief cameo'.

Peter Ustinov: 'Me too'.

My shoes don't eat meat.

Brother-in-law alerted me to this event. (I'm linking to it, cause you wouldn't believe me otherwise).

But just so do you don't have to go there (gawd listen to me, these days a click is even a drag), here it is in all it's glory.

'We're hosting another party selling certified cruelty free women's shoes. Anyone interested in women's vegan shoes are welcome to come along.

For those of you have been to previous parties, please note that we have a new range!

This party is hosted by Vegan Style.

Feel free to forward this invitation on to anyone you think might be interested.'

Hope to see you there :)

Okaaaaaay. Obviously I have a few questions.

Since when did shoes evolve so highly that they could eat, (apart from your bank balance or your heels) ?

Or, have I got it wrong and are they cruelty free cause they're a state of the art, ergonomic masterpiece that won't give you blisters or make your feet hurt?(But just make you look sensible).

Hmm not sure.

Anyway, if you're interested pop along to 50 Hope St in Spotswood, Melbourne tomorrow between 4.00- 5.30 and you can check out their new range.

Somehow, I can't see me getting there.

Question.

Just how excited are those Spanish miners right now ?

Except, possibly, for the guy whose coming out to meet both his wife and his lover.

You know you're living in 2010 when...

...your mother and sister are in Uzbekistan and your 73 year old father rings you and says, 'I felt like some boiled eggs, then I realised I had no clue how to make them. So, I Googled it......'

Outstanding.

And on that note, I've got some work to be getting on with, back in a week.

Tootlepip!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Okay, I will stop stealing other people's discoveries, like small furry animals. And I promise I will start putting some thought into my posts, but I'm lazy and this is just too ridiculously good to ignore.

I found the sleepy kitty over at Popbitch.



Now, if you're thinking that the kitty cat scored an epic fail on finding a comfy bed, well, think again.



Proof that if you really want to sleep in a teacup, you can.

Particularly if you're a kitten.