Move Over Bonsai Bears

In my second to last post I introduced you to the idea of Bonsai Bears.

Now I think I have just done to names what I have done to animals.

When naming your children I think people should consider becoming part of  a new and exciting  movement: Name Your Child Like a Haiku.

It works like this.

Say your last name is Bird. You have a daughter. You name her Catriona Drew Bird.

Shortened version?

Cat Drew Bird.

Voila! A multi tasking name - both name and haiku.

You have a boy? Your last name is Sun? Easy.

Name him Storm (yes, it's both genders, the Internet told me). Second name - Chase.

Storm Chase Sun.

Truly, I am beside myself with excitement on this one. And the possibilities are endless...

Female Supervision Not Included.

The London Office has kindly sent me this series of photographs. They're filed under Men Who Lack Female Supervision. However I reckon #1 just looks like good old plain fun. (Gumboots may have been advisable, though).

I have to admit, when I first looked at this my initial reaction was, 'But what's wrong with that?' However this is coming from the woman who once got thrown out of a Tupperware party.

 The only thing I'm unsure about in the following shot is the choice of cap colour.

 Hmm, I'm hoping they managed to open the windows before they passed out from the fumes.

 Hey - Father Christmas is only human !

 'You wanna fly, lil' Lawnmower?'

So remember, all you budding hedge mowers, when you get to mowing the top of the hedge - always  think Safety First.

When Dreams Fly

I had a dream the other night that a friend of mine had acquired three baby grizzly bears. Naturally, off I went to visit them.

They were absolutely gorgeous but I did say to her, ‘Have you thought about when they grow up into great big grizzly bears? How are you going to look after them - and more importantly - save yourself from getting ripped limb from limb by them, when they turn into grumpy teenagers?'

‘Oh, that won’t be a problem – they won’t – they’re Bonsai Bears.’

Sometimes, just sometimes, I love my dream brain.

Twelve Miles. Six Cameras. Four Days. One Shuttle. No Sleep.

Check out the last  of the fanfare celebrating Endeavour's  new digs.

I suppose what this says to me is, no matter how you look at it, there's no escaping the fact that one day we're all going to end up in some form of retirement home.

I'm just wondering if a big shed is what Endeavour had in mind for itself.

Memo to Religion.

I may be late to this posting-party, but I think this is genius. 

You can't really add to that, can you?

Things That Make You Feel Nearly Dead #437

When you go on to one of your favourite clothing websites where they're advertising, this week, great  specials on vintage clothing.

Whoopee! You think, ‘I love me a vintage bargain,’ and click on through.

Only to discover, ‘Vintage 80s acid-wash denim pencil skirts.’

Shoot me now. 

Winning.

In the last week: my 76 year-old father has bought an iPhone 5, my mother got the Don't Come Monday from her quack three months after falling off a ladder whilst pruning the roses and massacring her wrist, my sister got quoted in The Wall Street Journal, I got potentially the hardest project of my career over the line and my brother took this photo. 

All in all, a reasonably good week.

Illogical (and potentially deadly) Whims

One day I would love to walk in to the bathroom and find a panda bear relaxing in the bath. Not a filled bath, an empty bath. 

It's just I reckon our bath would be the perfect size for a bear and practically every morning I walk in to the bathroom this thought occurs to me.   

One of these guys would do. 

I think one of them would fit perfectly. 

And I'd quite like to have a pet panda bear.