Sunday, September 20, 2009

Yet another example to support the theory 'You should never eat something bigger than your head.'

This post is courtesy of my sister, I would link to her but she's not a blog.

Behold some pictures below for you.

On the left we have a lizard who looks likes he's hired some fangs to go to a vampire party and on the right we have a lizard lying beside a centipede.

Now here's something you may not know, apparently lizards aren't rocket scientists. (You won't be finding any Mr G Geckos on a NASA staff emailing list, anytime soon.)

Anyway, if you weren't aware of this theory, I've got a story to support it.

On the left is a lizard with what staff at the Reptile Park where he lives believed to be were legs of a cricket. They thought that Mr Lizard had just polished off a mighty feed. However, closer inspection revealed the legs belonged to that a centipede. (Isn't that like me attempting to eat a very hungry shark?)Understandably, staff thought it too risky to remove the centipede, so they decided they'd leave him alone to digest it in peace.

Later they came back to discover that the lizard harboured bulimic tendencies, as he had barfed his centipede right back up - all in one piece.

I do like what the of the reptile park owner, Ivan Orich, had to say on the matter. He reckoned that a combination of poor eyesight and even poorer intelligence might explain the gecko trying to eat something longer than itself.

"I have the impression they're not the sharpest knives in the drawer. When you go in to feed them, they got for your foot rather than the foot your are bringing to them."

As the title of the article suggests, it does bring new meaning to 'long lunch.'


Saturday, September 19, 2009

The last two days of work have included...

...twenty-six river crossings, many many bunnies, a dog who I swear is a reincarnation of Princess Diana (big sad eyes, shy head tilt, crazy mother) and views like this-
Now, if I could locate the bus that has run me over....

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Some dogs should just stick to chasing cats.

Mental note to self:don't give the dog the car keys.

Oh, that's right I don't have one.

Maybe just don't give car keys to this dog.
Cause he's a rubbish driver.

Yesterday his owner left Wilco in his Cheverolet ute while he popped into the mall. Wilco obviously got a bit bored so decided to take the ute for a wee spin. He pushed down on the column gear change, putting the vehicle into drive.

And drive, the vehicle did - right into the front doors of a nearby cafe.

Luckily the cafe owner is insured. But can you imagine the insurance agent? 'So a dog drove a ute into the front doors of your cafe? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.'

(Almost as stupid as having to tell the quack that your badly sprained ankle is due to being run over by a dog. But let's not go there, today).

I think my favourite part of the article is the last line, 'Police were still investigating the incident.'

What? Have they not finished interviewing the dog yet?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I don't think I want to think about this too much.

I was around at my mate's and her man-the-antiques-dealer last night. The antiques dealer had just been at an auction, where he'd been talking to a local eccentric. He enthused about the character of this man, 'Oh he's this, this and this and....'

And I was about to pipe up with 'it's just that he's fucking crackers.'

But he beat me in the race to finishing his sentence '....he really reminds me of you.'

Arse.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Octomum, eat your heart out.

Ali
Edie
Laura
Nellie
Bertha
Sid
Trissie
Eddie
Arthur
Fred
Frank
Gerty
Kitty
Mark
Dolly
Jo
Jane
Dolly's chair.

Jo was the gardener, Jane was the housekeeper and for some unknown reason they always added Dolly's chair.

Dolly was my great grandmother.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Did you know....?

....that Lego have diversified into wigs?

Jermaine Jackson is a big fan.
A big big fan.