Go the Ov-lov

I was talking to a vehicle inspector on Monday. He's the guy who inspects vehicles that have been involved fatal accidents. And quite often the nearly-fatal ones.

So I had found the perfect person to give me advice on what to buy and what not to buy. He wasn't going anywhere until I had got the information I was wanting out of him.

'So what type of car do you recommend?'

'You can buy any type of car, just make sure it's got airbags, ABS and traction control'.

Traction what ?

'What's the safest type of car?'

'While there are other cars that are pretty equal to it now, the Volvo is the safest - but not the four wheel drive one, the sedan or station wagon version.'

'And what would you not buy?'

'Honda Civics, keep away from them.'

'Why?'

'They crumple.'

'My sister's got one, but it's a late model one, surely that's okay?'

He looks at me like he's telling me to put down the old family dog and says gently, 'Tell her to move on from it.'

'Or', I suggest brightly, 'I could just tell her not to crash?'