Just another day at the office.

I have just been in the middle of nowhere. Literally.

Warning: this post is shamelessly cut and paste from another blog.

I was over at Harry Hutton's blog Chase Me Ladies, I am the Calvary reading his latest post,which was on the death of Ted Kennedy.

This is what he had to say:

'Like everyone else in my generation, I have no idea where I was when I heard the news that Edward Kennedy had died. I can't even remember what town I was in.'

His comments always make for an entertaining read, so I was meandering merrily through them reading about everybody's take on it (from 'Will he be given a state funeral, or be bundled into the trunk of a car and thrown off a bridge?' to 'The world is certainly a darker place with his passing. He did, after all, have such a bright red face'), when I stumbled over an out-loud-snort one. It was from a blogger by the name of Ulaca who said, 'I don't think he ever came to terms with the fact that no one wanted to assassinate him.'

Hah! Hadn't ever thought of it like that, it does put a nice spin on things.

Does this mean I've just spoken ill of the dead......again? Oh well, I'm picking that Ted having too much fun partying with other dead Kennedys to really give a toss what's being said about him on earth. I bet he's being referred to by his dead relies as 'the one that got away.'

Another from the glorious team at Awkward Family Photo

'Honneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!'

'Yeeeeee -es?'

'Honey, could you do me a favour?'

'Sure thing, Hon.'

'Could you get me Baby's gun?'

'Which one?'

'The pink one.'

'Okay.'

'Oh, and one other thing?'

'What is it?'

'Could you get the camera, too?'

'Oh yes, sure'

'Thanks, Honey.'

'Where are you, Hon?'

'In the bath with the dog.'

While I love Samoa...

...I think I will be giving it a wide berth over the next few months as they get their heads around driving on the other side of the road.

Call me cynical, and I really hope I am wrong, but one word springs to mind - clusterfuck.

And I am only saying that because I know that if the country I lived in decided to drive on the opposite side of the road - while I think I would be fine at the beginning -down the track I reckon my default setting would stick its hand up and deliver me an almighty bitch slap me when I didn't have my wits about me.

Good luck Samoa, I really really hope it goes better than I fear it will.

Hit me, baby.

So it's just been announced that Peter Jackson's latest movie is going be 200 million dollar epic based on the life of Russian mobster Igor Borisovich Rabaev. While it hasn't been confirmed who is to play Rabaev, there has been a lot of speculation over who may get the role. Says Jackson, 'We had hope to cast Michael Jackson, however we have had to rule him out after his burial last week.'

While he won't yet reveal where the movie will be shot, it has been rumoured that Hobbiton is one of the locations being considered.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


That, good people, is obviously a completely fictitious bunch of sentences shamelessly designed for the purpose of gaining traffic to this blog. As I have said before, aside from the time the Australian Daily Telegraph linked to me for this post the most hits I have ever had was the day I wrote a post that included Peter Jackson and Russian mobster.

So why the need to up the ante on the traffic?

Well, you see, yesterday I received this email from my brother-in-law :

So far today:LaughyKate has had X unique visitors and X page views.
Quote Unquote has had (insert many more) X unique visitors and (insert many more) x page views.

No, I don't understand it either.

Ya see, the thing is, normally we get in the same vicinity of hits, however yesterday this blog was royally spanked by his blog.

And I'm sorry, but I am not taking that lying down. I have standards. Hence this post - an unashamed, unadulterated attempt to regain some ground by me acting my shoe size.

And while I'm here I might as well give myself all the help I can, so here we go - Google Search, I hope you have your ears on cause I'm talking to ya; Playboy Mansion, Brittany Spears naked, Daniel Craig naked, how to make money fast, All Blacks scandal, Anna Nicole Smith's drug cocktail, Star Wars, playground padding (you would be surprised/unnerved at the number of people who google this), knitting patterns (they tell me knitting is huge), what is Scientology, Chinese for beginners.

And why don't we throw in 2008's top google searches, just for good measure: sarah palin, beijing 2008, facebook login, tuenti, heath ledger, obama, nasza klasa (me either - it's a Polish social networking site), wer kennt wen (German one) ,euro 2008, jonas brothers.

Righto, I think that's enough for now.

Game on, let's sit back and count.

This week....

...I have been playing with archaeologists.

It was very muddy.

The End.

By Kate.

P.S Growing up, I always had the romantic notion that I would quite like to be an archaeologist - you know, digging up artefacts and treasures (read: jewellery) around ancient ruins in Eygpt. The reality of it, 'Under this mud and hard earth are some piles of a house. Here are some trowels, start digging and see what you find,' is not quite as appealing to me.

However, I think many would argue, that that is a blessing for archaeology.

If I was casting for one of Cinderella's ugly sisters, Dr Frederic Brandt would be on the shortlist.

I was watching a story on non surgical face lifts on 20/20 on TV3 last night. They were interviewing the Dr Frederic Brandt, a guy who is apparently responsible for some of the maintenance on Madonna.

Now this photo does him all sorts of favours.
He has got to be the owner of one of the scariest faces on the planet. And it doesn't move. He admitted that he can't frown or look angry. It's as if his forehead is in a Valium induced coma.

But what struck me is, if your face guru guy looked like that, wouldn't it concern you that he doesn't have a great handle on the concept of beauty and that you're more likely to come out looking like someone who's off to an Adams family reunion rather than someone who has just put a couple of years on ice?

It's almost like asking these ladies...

..for some nutrition tips.

Or this guy...

..for a weights program.