Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Sports You Don't Want Your Children to Play

I have no idea who came up with this sport, but I reckon they should be up for a Darwin Award.

The best shots are at the end. 

Call me crazy, but I don't reckon whoever came up with the design of snowmobiles actually considered how well they'd do in the stunt snowmobile section of the X Games, when they were designing them.

Could be wrong, though.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Envious? Moi?

My 15 year old niece is currently on a five week exchange in Salt Lake City.

It suddenly occurred to me this morning that Sundance, the Holy Grail of indie film festivals, is on at the moment.

I emailed her and asked about it, very excited.

She replied:

'Oh yeah, it's in Park City. I might be going to it...but I'm not sure because it's either that or skiing!'

Meanwhile, down the bottom of the world, her aunt reaches for the heavy foundation to camouflage the greenish hue of her skin.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

To Lance

A friend posted this on Facebook:

A new word in the English Lexicon - "Lance": verb. To vehemently maintain a lie even in the face of insurmountable evidence for as long as possible, then finally admit it in a way that makes you look like a martyr - To Lance or to pull a Lance. Teenagers are very good at this. eg. 
Me: Son, have you tidied your room?
Son: Yup
Me: Have you really?
Son: Yes! Oh My God, you never believe me!
Me: Quit Lancing, I can see it's still a complete mess!
Son: Okay, I'm sorry. You don't know what it's like being me!

And while we're indulging in the fun new sport that is Lancebashing, I'll share a photo from Brother-in-law's Facebook.
On the upside, at least he's given the rest of us loads of material to work with. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Hello 2013!

And Happy New Year to you!  I hope you've all had a beautiful old time.

I have and, as a result, I am now suffering a hideous holiday hangover. And I'm telling you that it's nothing that takeaway Thai and a glass of hair of the dog will fix. Just currently the only thing that will fix my HH would be another holiday, and somehow that's about as likely as the cat turning into a unicorn and flying me back to the 1920s. 

While basking in holiday delights I was sure I spotted Charlize Theron lunching at the same restaurant some friends of mine and I were at. I was sitting directly opposite her. 'It's Charlize Theron!' I whispered, immediately grabbing my phone and Goggle Imaging her for proof, as my friends scoffed. 
They wouldn't have a bar of it.

And neither would I. I protested, there were all the signs: she was wearing Ray Bans throughout her meal (disguise), had diamonds the size of my head in her ears (money), American accent (I know she's South African, but still), stylishly dressed (go figure), tall (she is) and she left in a helicopter (more money).

Sadly, when I was back at my desk The Daily Mail - okay so it was the first day - told me that just currently she is looking like this.
So I guess that means I had a lunch at a restaurant where someone who looked like Charlize Theron was also at. 

Somehow it doesn't have quite the same ring to it.