Monday, November 29, 2010


Australian readers will already be aware of this ad.

But, as I'm currently doing a lot of work with the police, I am now getting my head around just how important these messages are.

And, boy, this one packs a punch.

Sadly, the people it should be punching may still think they're six foot ten and bullet proof. I really hope not.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

From Planet State the Obvious.

The Pike Mine Disaster.

If one more newsreader asks a journalist in the field, 'What is the mood of the town tonight?' I will hurl a brick at the television.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I kid you, not. UPDATED!

Due to my complete inability to say no, I have found myself working seven days a week for, pretty much, an eight week stretch - give or take the odd day off.

I would like a cup of tea and a lie down however, on the upside, I am learning a whole lot of stuff across a diverse range of subjects. Some of it more practical than others.

Things like; if you want good veggies - start with good soil, don't plant your Nicotiana flowers beside your tomatoes, beagles are escape artists and, if you don't want to get your car stolen in Auckland, avoid buying a Subaru.

I had heard that last chestnut of advice from the police...and then life just went ahead and reinforced it.

Yesterday morning a woman I work with woke up to discover their car had been stolen, right outside their bedroom window. Their alarmed and locked car, no less.

Even more strange was that, few hours later, stuff from their car was discovered in another stolen, abandoned car. ( I think the moral of this story is, don't try and understand the minds of criminals).

My colleague and her partner were understandably a bit gutted; they don't have the time to get their car stolen, they've got a small child, they need two cars as they both work in different directions, it's nearly Christmas and they're about to get married.

So there was delight this afternoon when the police rang to say they had found their car. And it was in one piece. Joy! Immediately her partner left work to get to go and pick it up.

But it wasn't going to end as happily ever after as they'd hoped. An hour later she got a call from her partner, he'd turned up to where their car had been found...only to discover that it had been stolen a second time.

And yes, it was a Subaru.

UPDATE: Last night my colleague's partner was driving around their suburb, SPOTTED their stolen car driving and, a police helicopter and dog chase later, their stolen car is now recovered!

Now that's a story you can't make up.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Volkswagen Stereotype.

So, if I get it right, all Volkswagen drivers have milk in their tea?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Apologies for the animal week.

I reckon whoever invented this animal was on some seriously good drugs at the time.

Either that, or the animal is on something rather synthetic and strong.
More evidence here.

Now, could someone tell me what that critter actually is ?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I have one thing to, make that two...or three...

There are three potential explanations to the following..
1. This cat has huge balls.
2. This cat is dumb as a box of rocks.
3. This cat is exercising his right as a cat (i.e superior to all species).

What think you?

P.S Apparently the above isn't working - try this one.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

When family photos make you feel anxious...

I thought it was time for some more treats from Awkward Family Photo. Today, we go in order of creepiness.

First up we go with the family that dresses together...
...will have long term scarring effects on their children.

Next, I would just like to point out the terror that is in that dog's eyes. Possibly he's concerned that his owners harbour amibitions of being suicide bombers?
And I think the next two come first equal in being uneasily wrong.

Please tell me that these two below are still getting dressed. However I fear I'm wrong, cause doesn't the bow tie generally come after the shirt ?
And this is what you get when you cross Tarzan and Christmas - a whole lot of wrong.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Guns and koalas.

Here's Frodo, the joey koala from Queensland who has been shot fifteen times by some heartless fecker.

There is so much support out there for the wee fella, that he even has his own fundraising page Everyday Hero - $150 and rising if you care to throw some dollars in his direction.

But I have a question. Does he get so much attention because baby koalas are impossibly cute? Would people care so much if he was a shot lamb? A shot rat ? A shot baby giraffe ? (Yes, I believe a shot baby giraffe would also have his own fundraising fan club.)

I suppose baby-anything has heartstrings pulling power, however I'm vaguely suspicious that baby koala does tend to be one of the rock stars in the cute-animal stakes.

Friday, November 05, 2010

That's three people's days' wrecked.

From my apartment I have just seen a car like this.....crash into a car like this...
...and then into a car like this....
She's one hell of a way to kick off a Friday night.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

This just in from The Australian Office.

Except her version was accompanied by Rod Stewart's 'I am Sailing'.

Reason #6574 why I don't want to go on a cruise.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Just another day at the office.

Today I spent the afternoon out with the police.

Lights, sirens, catching bad guys, accidents, going really fast to get to accidents and one loon.

It was sensationally cool.

The end.