Tuesday, June 30, 2009
At last she has found it. The following photos arrived in my inbox this morning.
Behold, the pumpkin soup themed wedding!
(And no, the bride isn't a dwarf, she's just drowning in a pool of tulle).
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
'Farrah Fawcett dying.'
'Farrah Fawcett Majors?'
'Whose that? The person who invented the faucet?'
Me to other guy in office, 'Are you hearing what I am hearing?'
'I'm not listening to him.'
'Who is it?'
'Tell me! I will just Google it.'
'Look! I'm just not down with your guys' old stuff, okay?'
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Not only do you have to get up early, but you have to get up early when it's DARK and COLD. And you're really tired not only cause you had to get up early but also because you woke at every hour on the hour to see how many hours you had left before you had to get up really early.
So you could understand my delight when I got a call last night to say that the call time had been pushed back and that the new time was 6.30 a.m. Boo-yeah! I had reclaimed an hour of my night. An hour I had given up forever. And I didn't even have to fork out a ransom.
But the thing is, if my call time had been pushed from 5.30 p.m to 6.30 p.m I wouldn't have even noticed.
This got me thinking, if you were putting a price on hours of the day, I reckon the most exclusive real estate would lie from 2 a.m-6 a.m.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
You're allowed to take three foods, what would they be?
Now, I really struggle with this question. I (Pollyannaishly) assume that there will be a larder stocked with salt, grindy pepper, good oil, balsamic, soya sauce, garlic, ginger, thai chilli sauce.....yada yada yada. And if I am only allowed just the one, I'll take the salt, thanks.
But what foods would you take? When I ask friends this question, there are those that fall into the survival camp and those that fall into the what-would-I-really-want-to-eat-if-I-could-only-eat-three-things camp.
I was mortified when I asked my (at the time) nine year old nephew, and he listed water and two other foods that would ensure he would see out the next fifty years.(You're nine, surely you should just be requesting fish and chips? Cause your father would have, at your age).
Anyway, if you were asking me today I think I would take mushrooms (as long as I had the arsenal of condiments listed above), mangoes (as my sweet treat) and prawns. If I could go hunt my own prawns I think I would take avocado.
That's my three, what are yours?
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I watched the pilot, I laughed and told two of the producers my thoughts. I was about to leave when I was ushered into the edit suite, where there was another producer and the director (both blokes) who were asking me about some of the sailing-close-to-the-wind humour.
'What did you think of such and such?'
'But that's funny!'
'Not if you're me.'
'What about blah-de-blah?'
'Nope, not funny, too icky.'
'Yeah but you'd talk about it at work tomorrow, wouldn't you?'
'No, because I wouldn't have watched it.'
'You've got no sense humour.'
When one of the other producers walked through into the room the director said, 'We've surveyed the prude audience, luckily they're not who we're targeting.'
Heh, it's official, you get the prude's point of view here.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
But, gah, it's kind of like a car crash.
I don't want to look, but sometimes I really can't help myself.
Oh well, it seems they are looking on the bright side.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
He duly rocks up.
'What's wrong with you? Swine flu? Food poisioning?'
'Nah, just fucking tired.'
'Just a sec', says the guy who pays his wages,'I will alert WHO! We have an outbreak of the Just Fucking Tireds.'
Move over swine flu, I think there's a new disease that's going to bring the world to its knees.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Dymocks Bookstore in Wellington has gone into liquidation.
And the last Virgin Megastore in Manhattan has just closed.
I understand it doesn't have much to do with the first story, but sometimes the side effects of this whizz-kid-cyber-world we live in really suck.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I have a feeling that photo is going to give me nightmares.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Oh, but let me count the ways I am now a little oinking pig in a pile of televisual muck.
I knew we were going to get on famously even before the titles rolled on the first ep. Everyone was back at work at the NBC after summer hiatus. Head writer Tina Fey (and writer of this ep) was welcoming everyone back, telling people she had a wonderful summer, that she did yoga, started a quilt, read two books and broke up with her boyfriend, but insisting that she was 'totally fine' about it.
She ends up in her boss's ( Alec Baldwin) office, and he tells her that basically she's talking a load horseshit, that there was no way she could be okay about her break up cause, 'Women your age have more chance of getting mauled at the zoo, than getting married.'
I can tell already that me and 30 Rock is going to be a warm and wonderful relationship.
Monday, June 08, 2009
'Oh and I've worked out how to drive the washing machine! But - bloody hell - that thing has more buttons than the first plane I learnt to fly.'
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
In a nutshell, a guy became trapped underwater after an excavator collapsed in a creek near Melbourne. From what I can gather, his head was half underwater and a quick thinking bystander whipped out her vacuum cleaner hose, passed it down to him and he was able to breathe underwater, just like the Man from Atlantis (except with a hose) until he was rescued.
When I googled this story, I discovered that 'cuum cleaners are, in fact, quite the life saver. Kitty, from Bristol, will attest to that.
Four years ago Kitty's owners noticed that the headcount was one down in the moggie department (family of four). It wasn't long until they heard some yowling coming from under the kitchen unit. They dismantled the sink, looked down the pipe and there she was,well, there her tail was, thrashing madly.
After failing to dislodge her with the barbeque tongs, ('Honey could you pass the tongs, the cat's gone down the drain') they called the fire department. Her future wasn't looking so rosy because they failed to get to her via a manhole as they were blocked by a wall and another crew, who attempted to get through the pipe with a mechanical hammer, also had no luck.
Until they decided to pull out the weapon of mass destruction - the vacuum cleaner.
They put it down the pipe, pressed the button and hoovered Kitty back to safety.
Anymore stories like this, and vacuum cleaners will be standard issue with First Aid kits.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
As I have a small house with two double beds, I was bunking with the seven year old and my sister baggsed the five year old. A tactical manoeuvre set into tradition by her as she is well aware that sharing a bed with the seven year old is the equivalent of spending the night with a wringer washing machine.
Previously I have erected a pillow barrier down the middle of the bed for protection, however this time the seven year old insisted that her life sized stuffed chocolate Labrador would protect me from her flailing limbs.
I am a such a gullible fool.
The next morning my sister and I were having a discussion on our respective sleeps.
'The washing machine was on a spin cycle.'
'The five year old was a magnet.'
Then, a delighted squeal from the five year old, 'Mummy, you're a fwridge!'
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
She's been compared to Nelly Furtado and her live performances have have had described as 'enchanting' and like 'a child’s fluorescent drawing coming to life'.
But when I saw her video I was a little creeped out.
That was until I remembered being in primary school.
How many of you sellotaped your nose to your face when you were a kid and then laughed yourself senseless?
*Universal are refusing to let anyone post this vid, so you have to go to Youtube to view it.