Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Guess Who Missed Last Call?

So there I was this morning, having picked up my coffee and meandering off to work. 

When I took a double take. 

'Is that a stuffed pigeon in the window of that restaurant? What would possess anyone to put a stuffed pigeon in the window of their restaurant?'

I look again and then watched as the stuffed pigeon walked from the table to the back of the chair. 

And then pose as I took its photo. 

Don't ya just hate it when you get so drunk you fall asleep in the restaurant dunnies?

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Dumb Ways to Die.

This is week-old news for New Zealanders and Australians but a friend of mine sent this to me and I just have to share it with you Northern Hemisphere types who may not have seen it yet.

A safety video put out by Metro Trains in Melbourne.

Simply, the best safety video - ever.

My favourite line - 'See both your kidneys on the internet.'


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Relief Is....

Opening the car and thinking, 'Oh no - what that smell? Has something just died in my car?'

And then realising it's the stinky French brie you bought twenty minutes ago.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Just in from the London Office

The London Office kindly sent me this fodder. It's a collection of small ad which had allegedly appeared in UK newspapers in the recent past. 


8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!


1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!   Must sell washer and dryer 

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE  Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, 
£200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

I'm not sure which is my favourite - but I am quite fond of the top three. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

A Must Read.

I have just read a sensational book. It's one of those please-don't-let-it-end books. 

It's called The Red Book and is by Deborah Copaken Kogan. It's about four Harvard College room mates who attend their college reunion twenty years after they graduated.

Her writing is stunning, 'Bucky, it saddens her to realise, has become one of those besuited shadows one sees on the LIRR platform, starting vacantly down the tracks waiting with equal indifference for both train and death.'

'He pauses, glancing around at the tent at all that lost potential, all that promise now shrouded in middle-aged fat and khaki.'

And, when talking about a woman who has experience far too much death for one lifetime, 'And Jane is crying not because she did or didn't know Hatch but because no matter how many people close to her have died, no matter how much grief has been piled on and endured, the fact of death itself still has the power to shock, every single time, with its indifference. 

It's a bloody good yarn.

Thursday, November 08, 2012


Does anyone reckon Obama woke up this morning and thought for a nano second, 'Another four years? Really? I'm knackered.'

Friday, November 02, 2012

Something to Brighten Your Friday

A wee present from Awkward Family Photo

I wonder what is the significance of the supermarket in this photo? It's cut price? Where they met? 
Note they chose to take this photo in the sweet section, I suppose you'd be worried if it was in the cleaning aisle.

Regardless, it think it's sensational and I really hope these people join my movement to Name Their Child Like a Haiku.