Saturday, October 31, 2009
I bought: one bottle of wine, a six pack of yoghurt and some hard crunchy pears.
I came home and pulled out of my supermarket bag: one bottle of wine, a six pack of yoghurt, some crunchy hard pears.................and two ham and tomato stuffed baked potatoes.
Now, I didn't inadvertently drop them into my basket because a) I think I would have noticed cause they were hefty wee numbers(and I don't eat meat) and b) there was no evidence of them on my receipt.
So now I am wondering if I am now living in some sort of random reverse Bermuda Triangle.
And I'm almost tempted to go back to the supermarket today to see if it happens again.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I, on the other hand, am not one of those people. I am spur of the moment. I make holiday plans at the last moment. I am a useless planner. I know I will generally do my GST the day before it has to be paid. I will get as close to a deadline as possible before I deliver a project.
Basically, unless I have to be organised, I will just plan as I go and do things when I please and I as I feel like it.
As far as something like blogging goes, I just do it when the mood takes me, or when I have an idea. I couldn't tell you how often I do it, when is the most regular time time of day I do it. I just do it, whenever.
I wouldn't have a clue how often I do it, either. I just do it.
So you can imagine it was with horror this morning that I noticed how many blog posts I have done each month of this year. (Take a look to the *looks at hands to see which hand has got the mole on it*right).
Out of nine months, there have been SEVEN months where I've blogged exactly twenty-two times.
Holy shit Batman! My subconscious is organised.
Now, if only I could channel that organisation to my conscious state, I think I would be a hell of a lot more productive.
Friday, October 23, 2009
I had gone to sleep in my room (we used to flat together and even though she has moved twice since, married, had two children, I still have my own room, okay?) and when I woke up I was in a different bed, different room.
I had absolutely no idea where I was. I was now in a single bed but in a completely different house. I was quite freaked out, so I got out of bed and went to the door and looked out. I was downstairs and I could hear someone talking. I looked up the stairs and I could see my not-yet sister-in-law talking. Except she looked different.
She was a teenager.
And she had a perm.
And I suddenly worked it out. I knew exactly where I was!
I was in my not-yet sister-in-law's mother's house.
And it was about 1989.
I had gone to sleep and woken up in 1989!
And do you know what my first thought was?
'Wow, this is cool, I am going to win so many bets.'
Fortunately I was dragged back to 2009 by my cousin's small daughters who were burying me under a mountain of pillows. If anyone wants to start an euthanasia service, I can put you in touch with the perfect little workers. You could call it Snuff Princesses.
Now isn't that a business opportunity to die for ?
Hah, I am killing myself here!
Okay, enough with the lame one liners, I will stop now.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Now I don't know about you, but immediately my (maturity-of-about-a-six-year-old) brain goes, 'What? The guy got to the end of dinner and said 'That was shit!', reached for his rifle and BOOM!
Obviously the real story is horribly tragic and not like that at all but, I'm sorry, you give me a headline like that, and that's what I'm going to think.
The guy who was killed obviously had serious issues (not to mention no manners can't you be serious for a moment?), he was awaiting trial for slashing a man's face at an Auckland nightclub, he had assaulted his girlfriend on a number of occasions and had been involved in a road rage incident.
The night he was killed he had charged through the house, attacked five others and left another party-goer semi conscious and attacked the hostess. So you can kind of understand how the evening ended up in the ugly mess it did.
But that headline, maybe if they'd left 'dinner party' out of it, possibly my brain may have processed it with a little more maturity ?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Nine Year Old: 'Yeah ! We're gunna burn the house down!'
Fast forward - tomorrow night.
Parents walking out door.
Me yelling downstairs:'Hey Nine Year Old! Where are the matches?'
Nine Year Old: 'Nah, I don't want to burn the house down. I'm busy -watching a film.'
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Do not pass go, do not collect $200, but just go there right now.
If you're a touch busy saving either babies or the planet to be arsing around on the internet right now,here's a wee taste of some of the gold you'll find over there.
First up, Obama's limo.
I mean where's Top Gear when you need it?
And here's someone who I'd just love to introduce to Pink Hair from Tuesday's post.
Let me count the ways I love the internet.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Oh, okay. I will just give you just the one quote. It's from Pink Hair.
"It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he'd already paid me.But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job."
I'll leave it up to you to follow the link, or not.
Over and out.
Now, unless there's some rogue dwarf squatting in my wardrobe that I'm not yet aware of, the only person the finger can be pointed at is, um, myself.
I don't have any answers and I don't want to think about this too much, otherwise I will think I am crackers. So, to make me feel at home with my crazy sleepself, could someone please out-abnormal me with a better story of sleep adventures?
That would be triff, thanks.
*wonders if furniture should be whitewashed and tossed in neighbour's swimming pool*
Monday, October 12, 2009
I particularly like the swing at 1'09.
I knew a cat with a similar attitude. I once had to haul him off a collie after he had attacked, screaming, 'GET OFF!!YOU'RE A CAT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF DOGS!'
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
So a great horned owl was found walking on the side of a freeway, in the middle of somewhere. Some people discovered him, scooped him up, put him in a cardboard box, took a photo of him and moved him to state park.
This picture says one thing to me, and one thing only.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
However, did you know that discrimination has sent a community of dwarves to set up their own village in China?
In order to join the mountain commune in Kunming in southern China, you gotta come in under 4ft 3ins tall. And if you're a dwarf, and always harboured a desire to be in either the police force or the fire brigade but never could cause you never made the height requirement, well, this place is for you - cause they've got their own police force and fire brigade for all of their 120 residents.
And the enterprising little buggers have turned themselves into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses,living and dressing like fairy tale characters and performing musical numbers.
As you do.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Saturday, October 03, 2009
It's almost as good as the time (yes, I have banged on about this before) when, she bought her back a camel from Dubai when she was two and she looked at it and cried, 'A horse turtle!'