Just when you thought the internet was out of surprises...

Regular readers of this blog will know how much delight I get out of sites like Awkward Family Photo and People of Walmart.

Knowing this bordering-on obsession of these sites, an old friend of mine alerted me to this post that tells me there is a site dedicated to 'inappropriately toned discussions of various unfortunate persons' social networking profile pictures, Slavic style'.

Oh joy.

I particularly like the way the writer describes some internet surfers as internet-trash-scouring-philistines.

Yup, you got me in one.

Anyhou, because I'm shallow and flippant, accompany me while I go take the piss out of people I don't know.

If I'm not mistaken, there is either some serious rug wallpaper going on there or this is from a scene dropped from Inception.

Don't know about you, but I suspect Vavara from Moscow has been drinking.

This really does bring new meaning to, 'taking the piss'.

Apparently Svetlana is 25.

And now, for my finale. I think we potentially we have a match made in heaven.

I think we've found Mr Slasher's perfect mate.

And let me just remind you of one thing before you judge me harshly. These shots are from these peoples' social networking pages. They've posted them, knowing that the internet is not an exclusive members-only club.

Love from your friendly internet-trash-scouring-philistine.

Garfield, eat your heart out.

'

Could someone please explain ?

When Crocodylidae turn cute.

Yesterday I went to my six year old niece's ballet recital.

Apparently, they had been practicing for weeks and she was very excited/nervous about it. They were performing an adaptation of Peter Pan in front of an audience of over four hundred.

'What is your role?' I asked, when I arrived.

'A cwrocodile.'

Now, I know you're thinking that is the equivalent of being a tree but, I'll have you know, she was a sensational cwrocodile.

And she stood head and shoulders above the other seventeen cwrocodiles.

(That is a complete lie, they all looked exactly the same. The only way we could pick her was cause she was the shortest and was grinning like a loon).

Our cwrocodile was on stage for about two minutes.

The recital went for about two hours.

And it was worth every second.

Photoshop:tricking people since 1990.

Since I got completely sucked in by photoshop in my post below (due to being eternally optimistic, naive and not that bright), I would like to ask all you photoshop trainspotters whether the photos below are photoshopped or not.

(Okay, you're not trainspotters, just smarter than me).

The story goes that in a zoo in California , a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, the cubs were born prematurely and died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger started to decline in health, and the veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.After checking with many other zoos across the country, they found that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother.

(I would like to point out at this stage that there appears to be no consideration for the other mother tiger who they were intending on taking them from, anyhou back to the story).

The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. They rustled up a litter of weanling pigs. The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger.

And here is the proof.


This email was sent round our office and, while everyone else was cooing with delight, I was saying, 'I bet there's one really pissed off mother pig out there as well as a rather cold tiger.'

My other thought was that they'd just gone further down the food chain, found some cats and wrapped them in pig skin and given those to the mother pig.

Anyway, you photoshop experts, is the wool being pulled over our eyes yet again ?

One of these things is not like the other one.

My fabulous 82 year old uncle sent me this piece of advice...'When you are in deep shit, look straight ahead, keep your mouth shut and say nothing'.

Accompanied by this photo.

I'm picking that fox just won the fox equivalent of Lotto.

And I'm giving the photo the benefit of the doubt and I'm refusing to admit that I may have been outsmarted by Photoshop.

*Closes her eyes, puts fingers in her ears and starts chanting 'Mary had a little lamb' over and over again.*

The New Yorker

I was working yesterday and one of the guys told me about a cartoon in The New Yorker that he'd recently read. It was of a guy who had been pulled over by a cop. Underneath was written, 'I wasn't texting Officer, I was building a ship in a bottle.'

I laughed like a drain.

Wise advice.

Last night I was having a glass of wine with a colleague and we were discussing two other colleagues who have recently both been viciously bitch slapped by Life.

'At the end of the day,' she said pragmatically as she stubbed out a cigarette, 'we're all dying. We've just got to make sure we do some really cool shit before we do.'

I think I may get that etched in stone.