I thoroughly understood that we were trapped in winter when I saw someone, on my walk to work this morning, chiseling frost from their windscreen with a credit card.
We don't get brutal winters of Canada-esque proportions, but as far as I am concerned cold is cold is cold. It doesn't matter if it's six degrees or minus sixteen degrees, it's still far too farking cold for my liking. In fact - it would almost be better if it was colder, I reckon. But maybe I'm being a little delusional in making that assumption. While it may work in my head, the harsh reality of that statment may be just a little too much to bear.
I am pleased to report that since last year I have been coping with winter a lot better than I had been coping previously.
It's called an industrial strength coat.
(Didn't take me too long to work that one out, I'll be tackling nuclear physics next).
And my coat has been revolutionary in my coping of winter. It is made in the Netherlands, it weighs about the same as me and, oh my, it's toastie warm. I was considering how much I loved my coat as I walked to work this morning. I reckon I must look like a wind-up toy as I head to work. Little legs going as fast as they can carry me, back straight as a board and head down as I keep my nose zipped into my coat. One of these days I will walk into a lampost.
But I reckon my coat works so well because it is made in a country where they do cold. And they do cold well. Anyone ever bought a winter coat made in Thailand? I remember once trying to buy suntan lotion on an island off the Philippines, now that was a spectacularly pointless exercise.
I can't really complain about the winter (this doesn't mean I will stop complaining, and when I tell you I've set the furniture on fire, you will have to understand that I most probably haven't, it's just that I'm about to) as we have to suffer nothing compared to lots of other winters around the world. I remember friends in Montreal saying that they had two seasons, winter and construction. I'm also eternally grateful that I don't have to endure months of grey, melting, slushy snow.
As I was walking to work this morning, watching my breath, I was considering how cool it would be to have Christmas in winter. The winter lights and, somehow, rugging up to go winter Christmas shopping seems more romantic than shopping for presents in the summer. Not that I'm complaining about summer at all. But I reckon Christmas would be a great highlight to winter. Can we move it? And we could just call the period-previvously-known-as Christmas, Barbeque Time. 'What are you doing for your Barbeque holidays?' Instead of going to church and singing, communities could throw giant barbeques and cook.
Instead of god guys talking about peace and goodwill to all mankind, we could have cooks preaching the gospel of the barbeque.
I'm going to stop writing now. I've just read what I've written and I think now it's time for me to go and sit in a quiet dark wardrobe. I will be back when normal programming has resumed.