Just in from the London Office

The London Office kindly sent me this fodder. It's a collection of small ad which had allegedly appeared in UK newspapers in the recent past. 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
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FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
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FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
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COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!   Must sell washer and dryer £100.
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WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE  Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.
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FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
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I'm not sure which is my favourite - but I am quite fond of the top three.