My brother is weird.

I have talked before about my brother Sunshine and how he is apt to be a bit of freak of nature and has a rather high threshold to pain.

I have posted these pictures before which, if you haven't spent much time around here, will put you into the picture as to the type of person he is.

This one above was taken at Temple Basin last century. The one below was taken in Puerto Rico last year.

Basically he's spent all his life trying to fly.

In light of all this I really shouldn't have been surprised to have received the following text last weekend.

He'd been competing in a race that involved a 30 kilometre bike, a 15 k run (which he reckoned would be two-three hours), an 18 k bike and a ten k kayak.

The conversation unfolded like this:

Me:'??? and ???'

Him: 'I fell over early in the run passing a guy going downhill and dislocated my shoulder (not my bung one - so I am evening things up!) Luckily a doctor was competing so he put it back in for me (ouch!) and I could carry on. Still came 3rd in the veteran men's but I was a bit pissed off because I was leading category by a long way before I crashed. But a good day and I will be back next year.'

Now, I just want to take a moment to consider his text.

He fell at the beginning of the 15 kilometre run and popped his shoulder. Now I haven't ever dislocated my shoulder but a quick Google search reveals, 'IT HURTS LIKE FUCK', 'You will be in a lot of pain. ... It will be loud','The pain from the dislocation is so horrible. When I dislocated my shoulder, I was wishing that my arm would just fall off.'

So bearing this in mind, Sunshine pops his shoulder, gets it popped back in, finishes the run, bikes 18 k and then - the killer - kayaks for ten kilometres.

Kayaks?

He's dislocated his shoulder and he kayaks?

There were no lives at risk, no last-planes to catch or no world-coming-to-an-end and he needed to get to his family.

The lengths that man goes to, to think he deserves a beer are just becoming ridiculous.

It could be just a coincidence....

Is it just me, or is there anyone else out there who thinks that Joanna Lumley is potentially a (*plastic surgery*cough) spiritual twin to Joan Rivers?

Exhibit A.

Exhibit B.

And the Joan Rivers comparison exhibits.

Call me crazy, but it just seems that they seem to be aging in the same way in the eyes...

Oh, how times have changed..

Look what I discovered when I was having a wee poke around the interweb.

Santa was a smoker! (You should remember that when you're leaving the carrots, apple and glass of beer out for him this Christmas).

And if that wasn't a big enough endorsement, then there's always the one from your GP (just as long as they're Camels).
Also, if you want your children to have a 'better start' during their 'awkward pre-teen years', then get them started on cola!
Bring back the good old days.

Conversation Overheard in Office.

'What swearing are we allowed at 7.30?'

'Bloodys and shits.'

'Cocks and bitches?'

'Yup. Fucks 8.30, cunts possibly 9.30 - best check.'

A conversation that is testament to the fact that I don't work in a bank.

Quote

I read this great quote in the Christchurch Press on Saturday which I think is genius:

'A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.'

Apparently it's out to the mouth of a fellow whose name is Sir Barry Cocks.

I don't think I'll Google him.

I reckon if I was an elephant I'd like to be called Queenie.

I got an email from a friend this morning, telling me that it was a very sad day as the world's only water skiing elephant had died.

He was of the opinion that the world needed more water skiing elephants.

It's looks like good fun (water skiing - if you're an elephant), but I'm wondering whether Queenie ever got over it and thought, 'Listen guys, I'm not a performing-freaking-seal'.

Don't mess with Pop...

Okay so I just couldn't resist this from Awkward Family Photo.I can't pick whether the groom should be more scared of the father-in-law with the gun, or the bridesmaids' dresses.