Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Officially Last Holiday Conversation.

I have just been staying with my uncle and aunt on the holiday that you have after your holiday, otherwise known as your 'pudding holiday'.

One of my cousins and her team was also staying. She has two miniature people and is currently growing another one. We were talking about her children.

'They're very cool,' says I.

'The three year old has only just started talking, which we're reasonably delighted about,' says she, 'his brother was talking at two, but the smallest obviously decided speech wasn't necessary until he was three.'

'Really?'

'Yup, he could understand everything and make his desires known, but simply couldn't be bothered speaking them.'

'That's bizarre.'

'Not as bizarre as Nameofherfriend. Her daughter was four and she hadn't said a word. One day they were driving and saw a Mr Whippy.Her and her husband did subtle hand gestures to each other,communicating that they would drive in a way so their daughter wouldn't see the truck selling ice cream and then proceed to indicate to her parents that she wanted one.'

'Nice.'

'And it was then her parents heard their daughter speak her first two words.'

'Which were?'

'You miserable bastards.'

I don't know about you, but I think that kid is sensational.

10 comments:

Fat Sparrow said...

Yes I did laugh out loud.

Kids, you can't afford to do fuck-all after you've had them, but they are your very own home entertainment centers.

laughykate said...

Hee, I suppose it would be great if they could come with a remote control.

Fat Sparrow said...

"Mute" would definitely be an awesome function to have on kids.

My dad used to duct tape my little brother's mouth shut, but he would chew through it.

laughykate said...

Man, that's one hungry brother.

SaS said...

Well at least they will remember her first words. I reckon she will be a comedian when she grows up, timing is everything.

I'm with Fat Sparrow about the mute button. We forget that we have a six year old sponge around until we get to the sister-in-laws house, "Mum says you've put on weight". Ackward silence, mum-in-a-panic, "No, I said she looks great"...

laughykate said...

Brilliant! I think the remote needs an Instant Erase function.

SaS said...

Or a button where you can pause the live action...

laughykate said...

Brilliant!

Jo said...

Ha, when they don't talk, somehow we think they can't hear...

laughykate said...

Maybe the remote control could have a 'scramble what I am about to say' function.