Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Guest post from The Fruitcake

For those of you basking in summer, you may not know that currently Mother Nature is icing New Zealand.

An Antarctic blast, which the Metservice is describing a one in fifty year event, is currently bitchslapping the country. It's been greeted with delight by those regions who never get to see snow while others, understandably, are a little snow weary.

In light of this, my mother sent me this email last night. (I must admit, I do swell with pride when I can put the words, 'my mother' and 'email' in the same sentence. She is such a clever clogs. Even though I'd put ten dollars on the fact she'd rather a slate and chalk).


Look what I thought tonight.

‘Snow flakes, flattening themselves on my kitchen window.

Do they want to come inside, to be warm and dry?

Shouldn’t think so – that’ll make them dead.

They probably just drew the short straw – onto a window, slide down, that’s that, end of commitment, next please.

Can’t you just hear them - “Head Office never told us what very mucky windows we could encounter.”

“Think how clean we’ll leave them.”


“Pollyanna yourself. I’ve had my photo taken.”

“Why’d anyone want your photo? You’re just a smear down a glass slab.”

“He took a photo with a flash. That means – in case you didn’t know – he would get all my individual shapes. My own pattern will be captured – for ever –. He’ll very probably post it on Twitter and I’ll be immortal.”

As she slid into wet oblivion at the bottom of the window, she looked sideways. He was all crumpled and out of shape.

Smiling to herself, she gathered her sides to her middle, shut her eyes, and glided into history.’

I might make more of this, but can you see them sliding down the window?

my love

hteM xx

I LOVE that story, unfortunately I'd better head for the hills, cause she's going to have my guts for garters when she discovers I've posted it.


Your cousin said...

Oh I love the snowflake people, folding. You are in so much trouble!

Miss six is over the snow after the ice took her feet away when she went out to get the paper this morning. Luckily only grazes. Last night misses six and eight went out with torches and your cousin's husband and had snowball fights in the dark. Glorious.

laughykate said...

Beautiful. Have been meaning to text you, did you get down the hill this morning - or have they closed your suburb?

Your cousin said...

School closed, buses may be running, but not to a timetable! Am about to venture forth and attempt to reach the place of work. I could end up coming home and baking!

laughykate said...

I'd say bake.

Holemaster said...

She'll hang you for that.

I like the way she gives personality to things. A sign of a deep heart.

Holemaster said...

We had -15 on Christmas night last.

On one of the days my car started wheel spinning on two inch ice on a train level crossing while I was looking out the driver's door window to see because the windscreen had frozen over. Oh and my hand-brake cable had just snapped too.

I miss that old car.

Janie Jones said...

Your mom is amazing! That is a fabulously quirky story; I love it!

laughykate said...

What a lovely thing to say, Holemaster. And yes, she does have a deep heart.

Isn't it great Janie? But then, I am biased....

Tinman said...

It is a lovely story. I don't think she'll be too upset, she's put up with being called The Fruitcake all these years...

laughykate said...

When you put it like that tinman....!