Stop Press! Santa's bought a Prius!

Face it, it was inevitable really, Santa was always going to go green one day.

However it does render the reindeer are out of work. But fear not, turns out they're an enterprising bunch!

Don't you love those have the ability to turn a negative situation into a positive one?

Neglect!

Earlier in the year I was given an orchid.

Now, being about as competent at growing orchids as I would be hunting wilds pigs, I turned to the Oracle, Dr Google to see what he had to say in keeping orchids alive.

Apparently not much.

Hah! My specialty.

So I did exactly that and look what I woke up to yesterday morning.

Orchid flowers!

How cool are they ?

I have a whole new respect for orchids, not only are they a beautiful plant, but they're low maintenance.

I love a plant where doing very little can go a long way.

If she looks like a hippo, then I'm a giraffe.

A friend of mine at work is pregnant. She looks fantastic and dresses really well to her pregnancy.

She, however, does not think so.

'Oh, I look like a hippo!' (She doesn't).

'No you don't', says I, 'I think you look fantastic. I can't decide whether you look more like a Sellotape dispenser or a snail'.

She laughed and squealed simultaneously, but I reckon if she had a Sellotape dispenser within reach, she would have hurled it at me.

For some reason she didn't see my compliment in my compliment.

Misconception

This morning, while I was waiting at TVNZ for a meeting, a man with incredibly dark skin came in and sat down, also waiting to be collected from someone on the other side of the revolving doors. I'll replay you the conversation that I had with my multiple selves in my head.

'Wow, that skin of his is really black. I wonder where he comes from.'

'Don't stare.'

'I wonder who has the darkest skin on the planet.'

'Somewhere really, really, really hot.'

'Must Google it.'

'You're a weirdo.'

'But that skin is so black...it's almost green.'

'Don't stare.'

'But really, his skin is so dark he's almost licorice coloured.'

At that point his person was came to pick him up - I learnt from what she said to one of the receptionists that he was going to be a guest on Good Morning. For those of you not in New Zealand - Good Morning is a morning lifestyle magazine show.

Anyhou after my meeting I went back to work and had a look to see who was a guest on Good Morning this morning. And I found my friend.(At this point I'm thinking dancer? Singer?)

I discover his name is Lucky Diamond Rich and I am delighted to inform you that I wasn't wrong. The reason he looks licorice is because he's The World's Most Tattooed Man and he's here for a tattoo convention.

You'll be pleased to hear that he didn't look that scary in the flesh. Black track suits aren't that intimidating. I have to say the metal teeth were a bit of a surprise.

But the thing that struck me is that, although he's spent thousands of hours having art work inked onto his body, he no longer looks tattooed - he just looks coloured in.

Flour is Fun.

You may have already seen this. It got sent to me at work on Tuesday and it's cracked me up since then.

I had never realised the potential of a bag of flour. This is what happens when a three and one year old get their mits on a bag of flour when their mother isn't watching.



Move over bread, biscuits and cakes. Flour now has a new purpose.

A Little Bit of Kiwi Makes the Muppets.

Let me count the ways I love The Muppets. And how cool is it that one of our own, Bret McKenzie, is getting to jam with Kermit for the latest movie?

He wrote some songs for the movie and, along the way, discovered there were some strict rules he had to follow. At one point he wrote a lyrical joke for Kermit where he would sing, 'I remember when I was just a little piece of felt'. I smiled when I read that line but it didn't fly with Disney because the Muppets have always existed. (And you have to admit, Kermit's aged well).

When people say who they'd invite to their ideal dinner party - (Shakespeare, the Queen, Brad Pitt, Joan of Arc..) I generally have to think of which member of the Muppets cast I wouldn't want at the table.

Miss Piggy would either be a hoot or a nightmare. My cousin met Miss Piggy once when she was visiting England- she was in ten different boxes lying in her boss's hallway.

But that's Miss Piggy to a T, isn't it? Even in bits, she's still a diva.

You know iPads have overtaken the world when...

...you go to the hairdresser and you get handed an iPad instead of a pile of glossy magazines.