Wednesday, February 02, 2011

And welcome to the cut and paste post.

Yesterday at work I got an email, with some pearlers in it. They include:
Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b*tch.

Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginga kid with two friends?

Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada

Dear Voldemort ,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." Just saying...

Sincerely, Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985

Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

Sincerely, Jack

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God

Dear Rubik's Cube,


Sincerely, Colorblind

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.

All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mula

Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast

Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty
Oh, they made me chuckle, I think my favourite is Canada's note.
But do you know how much self restraint it took to not claim those as my own ? My only problem is that I am such a rubbish liar, the moment I utter a lie I immediately have to fess up. It's possibly I good thing I don't have a career in crime.


Countess said...

They are very clever. Some people are so good at thinking outside the square.
I quite like the Rose, Jack one. That movie was so shite.

laughykate said...

I think calling that movie shite is giving it credit that it wasn't due ! SO shite.

injaynesworld said...

Those are great! Love the Michael Jackson one. Thanks for the chuckles, my friend.

laughykate said...

A pleasure, Jayne!

SaS said...

Dear Betamax,

Looks like we're both fucked now.

Sincerely, VHS

Dear China,

Stop jumping up and down.

Sincerely, Queensland

laughykate said...

Brilliant! Can't out do that, Sas,