Self improvement meant becoming unhealthier? Crime became a well respected career?
In light of this, here we go with a new year's resolution list with these new goals in mind.
1. Must start smoking.
2. Must be only be able to do ten push ups by year's end (five would be preferable).
3. Must start shop lifting.
And, in the giving-to-others resolution:
4. Get in touch with Charlie Sheen's agent and see if he's available for motivational tour to primary schools. Donate proceeds to Lindsay Lohan.
I'll stop there because I don't want to be over ambitious.....butI think I've just created a new year's resolution list that Homer Simpson would be proud of.
Anyone care to add?
*Throws iron in rubbish bin*