Walmart Fashion.

People of Walmart continues to entertain me, no end.

It's possibly because that's all my brain is capable of conjuring up for a post just currently. (Copy and paste is the fast food of blogging).

You know how reality television was born out of a writers' strike? People of Walmart and Awkward Family Photo are brought to you by me currently working a seven day week and feeling a little bit tuckered out at the end of the day.

Anyhou, it's self inflicted so I shall put the violin away. Instead! Behold these beauties.

Oh yeah. Giddy up. And below I think is her spiritual sister.
However I shall save the best till the last.

The Australian Office saw it and thought of me, bless her. And it was inspiration for this entire post.
I am without words. But I'm think I'm right when I say she's only wearing a pair of shorts.

She's only wearing a pair of shorts.

Which is okay if you're a hot bloke, or a wee ankle biter.

Otherwise it's wrong in so many ways.

This just in from The Australian Office.

Except her version was accompanied by Rod Stewart's 'I am Sailing'.

Reason #6574 why I don't want to go on a cruise.

This is normal. It could be argued. Or not.

The Australian Office hurled me some pictures from People from Walmart and, oh my, they are sensational.

Some are just too awful to post....like this one..

Oops, whatever was I thinking? One minute I was looking at it, feeling a little bit squirmy and then, poof ! Before my eyes it appears on my blog. Just like that. Wow. The Internet must be magic.

However this next picture is to die for. I love this guy.
I would be outrageously worried if it was my father but, since it's not, I can appreciate it in all it's glory. As for Ms Blue Jumpsuit...
..I am sort of at a loss for words. Except to say that, in most cases, being pigeon toed self corrects in childhood.

And finally, since I didn't want you to peak and reach your People of Walmart threshold early, I shall stop while I'm ahead with Little Miss Bunny Handbag.
The shoes look like the designer made them while trapped in a hallucinogenic bender and, as for the doll, perhaps she couldn't afford a dog ?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. People are fantastic.

Especially when they're in photos.

Houston we have a... "lot of snow"

I thought I should lift my game after Homepaddock's lovely words on the wireless about this site yesterday.

So this morning I was started to rattle the rocks around in my head trying to come up with something to post, but then I checked my inbox and found an email from The Australian Office. It turned out I wasn't going to have to doing any thinking at all, she'd done it all for me.

She's been, as she puts it, 'Casting loonies for ridiculous shows'. I read that and, like a four year old eating chocolate cake, the smile started to slowly smear itself across my face.

They've been asking contestant wannabes a host of questions and, well, they're not looking for anyone who would be capable of working out how to split the atom.However I think some of the answers they've got are simply genius.

Here's a wee sample of what she's heard/read.

Finish the phrase:
Curiosity killed the... "possum"
Behind every great man is a... "great wall"
Houston we have a... "lot of snow"
The early bird catches the... "first train"

Questions:
Who painted Van Gogh's Sunflowers? "Um, Jesus?"
Who painted the Mona Lisa? "Mona Lisa did. It's a self-portrait."
What is a female deer called? "A she dear. But I think it's pronounced shidere.

And you know what the best thing is? She's got a whole lot more of these pearlers to send my way.

You can't wait, can you ?

I do notice she left out the bit about playing a French hooker, though.

After Saturday's post (see below) I got this email from the Australian Office. She just wanted to clear a few things up, so I encourage you to read her email.

Hello,

Very happy to be the Australian Office, but may need to charge you a small fee!

However, I feel I'm being unfairly pigeon-holed on the whole 'swims with sharks', 'swears at PM' category, without any recognition of my full talents and experience.

I've had lots of important work-related tasks, such as the
following:

*Whole morning spent lying in a coffin in 'dead' make-up whilst a grown man 'corpse' is repeatedly thrown on top of me (to illustrate a money saving tip for surviving the
recession - 2 bodies per coffin).

*A entire week dedicated to in-depth research of penile-enlargement and erectile
dysfunction products.

*4 hours of 'in-bred' make-up to apply an extra eye, 2 more ears, prosthetic nose, rash, back-hump and dodgy teeth, then a further hour dancing along to a reworking of The Brady Bunch theme with lyrics about the Fritzl family - aka The Inbreddy Bunch.

*Co-ordinating a fund-raising sausage sizzle for local brothels.

*Convincing a Norwegian cabinet minister to be interviewed so that the presenter could then steal his wallet and state secrets.

*Getting 18 rockclimbers in a Smart car.

*Learning to eat M&Ms really fast with chopsticks.

*Taking a comedian to a registry office to change his name to Ghvftr Kijl.

*Organising a 'before and after' makeover in which only one side of the presenter's
body was waxed, tanned, exercised, hair-dyed, teeth-whitened and botoxed.

*Acting as guardian to a 7-year-old Indian child during a shoot in which he
pretended to hold Prince Phillip's penis whilst he peed.

*Trying to persuade a 7 foot shark to attack a life-size cardboard cut-out of violinist Andre Rieu.

*Throwing severed fingers into a teenager's hoody.

*Emerging repeatedly from a (bloody cold) sea dressed as a woman who drowned in 1973.

*Advertising slimming underwear for the under-ones.

*Organising an invasion of Liechtenstein.

I have plenty more but am running out of time.

I do have some standards though (not many) - I once refused to dress in pink Ku Klux Klan robes and dance around a burning cross during a mock lynching in aid of KKK Against Breast Cancer...

Anyway, just wanted to set the record straight...

Suddenly your job seems really boring, doesn't it?

Simply Genius

A friend of mine in Australia sent me this. She gives me so much content for this blog I shall just start referring to her as the Australian Office. (But I'm sorry, if you insist on spending your time in swimming pools with sting rays the size of mattresses or pulling the bird at the Prime Minister AND getting paid for it - ya really think I'm not going to blog about it ?)

She did ponder in an email recently why she felt compelled to send me all the odd stuff she stumbles across on the interweb. No, I have no idea either.

Anyway, this isn't of the bottled mice variety, this is just plain funny.

Watch it.