Thursday, April 29, 2010

Broad sweeping generalisations.

I've now lived in Auckland for four months. I used to say to myself that you weren't allowed to put a stereotype on a country/city/people until you'd lived there for three months.

I trashed this theory three months after I formed it when I moved to Tokyo and realised that the stereotypes I'd held before I'd moved there were completely correct.

Having now lived in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch each for longer than three months I now think I'm allowed to make broad sweeping generalisations about about each city.

If you were to consider them as aunts, Christchurch would be the rich aunt. She's the successful lawyer married to the successful lawyer. Great to go and visit, always guaranteed beautiful food, lots of treats, a million thread count sheet. But (just quietly) you're always a little bit pleased to leave.
Wellington is the funky, urban, slightly bohemian, brainy aunt. She's very cool, has a killer dress sense, is well read and interested in lots of things. Sometimes her conversations go a little bit over your head, she can get a little bit intense but you're always guaranteed a good argument over dinner, should you choose to pick one.

Auckland is the beautiful, good times aunt. She's a gym nut, is permanently tanned, drives a two seater and will proudly tell you about her latest botox. She's a hoot to spend time with, but if you spend too much time in her company she can tend to to wear you out.

The conclusions I can draw from these observations ? Possibly that I'm rubbish at broad sweeping generalistions.

And that I'd like to spend time with all of the aunts.


Countess said...

Well written LK. I can't agree more and I haven't lived in any of those cities! I do think however Wellington would be my favourite Aunt.

ess jay said...

Dunedin is the aunt with blue hair-rinse and breath like Jellimeat. She has chilblains and regurgitates everything she hears on talk-back radio. She's always drunk on the cooking sherry, and wont share it. Bring your jacket. Nice to visit, & when you leave you cant help but think holy, fucking, shit.

laughykate said...

Why thank you Countess!

ess jay said...


laughykate said...


Jo said...

Aw, sweet metaphors! V nice.

laughykate said...

Thank you Jo!In hindsight I could possibly do another bunch - completely the opposite to these ones, but that's another blog.

Holemaster said...

Dublin is a whole load of different family members from the old Granny who remembers when Dublin was still a town to the young brat who has no respect for their elders and wears skinny jeans.

Galway is the constantly drunken grunge cousin who dropped out of college and spends most of his time trying to make a roll-up without it blowing away in the Atlantic storms.

Cork is a sarcastic witty uncle who puts you in your place pretty quick and thinks Dublin is a stuck-up so and so who thinks they're the be all and end all.

Belfast is a the bi-polar young adult who's medication is starting to work now after a number of failed attempts.

Limerick is a psychopath.

laughykate said...

Excellent. I've so got to get to Ireland. Loving the sound of Cork.

laughykate said...

Ess Jay, I only just got your Dunedin comment! Out -freaking-standing!