I won't grow tall and neither, I fear, shall I grow mature.

We have had a new person working in the office I am currently working and I'm going to moot that the owners of the company hire her to hang out in the office when her project is finishes as the entertainment factor she brings in is high.

The other day she was making a phone order to get a chocolate cake sent to a friend. What I heard went something like this:

'Hello I was wondering if you would be able to - last minute I know - get a chocolate cake delivered to a friend of mine?'

Other person talk.

'You only have whiskey flavoured?'

Other person talk.

'Oh that's good, it's just it's celebrating someone being twenty years sober, so whisky is kind of defeating the purpose.'

Other person talk.

Then logistical details and summing up the conversation.

'Oh that's great, and thank you for doing it at last minute notice.'

Other person talk.

'Now, how 'bout some methamphetamine cupcakes?'

It was at that point I burst out laughing, loudly.

On Friday a courier driver came into the office with a parcel. As this woman is the first person you see when you come around the corner he walked up to her and asked if he could give her the parcel.

'Is it money?'

'I don't know' says Mr Courier Driver, 'it's for a Brian.'

'Do I look like a Brian?'

Also on Friday she and one of the bosses had had a long afternoon interviewing people on a pretty harrowing subject. At the stage when the rest of the people in the office were raiding the fridge for wine and beer they were told that their last appointment was on his way.

'Would it be immature if I hid under my desk ?' She asked.

I'm enjoying someone who makes my immaturity seem not so severe. (However I have to say that since starting work in this office I have been doing my very best act my age and not my shoe size, but I am reasonably confident I shall blow my cover any day soon.)

The other thing is, this woman is closer to my mother's age than mine, which I think indicates that the chances of me growing out of my immaturity and into maturity are fully screwed.

Oh well.