Saturday, April 24, 2010

Don't yoof say the darndest things?

On the production I am working on at the moment we have our token gen yer.(Funnily enough she went through broadcasting school with the Student. I actually suspect she is the girl version of him and they came out of some cloning machine in Silicon Valley).

She breaks my rule of You Should Never Eat Things Larger that Your Head on a daily basis, is whippet thin ( see: Silicon Valley), has turned the scowl into an art form and regularly comes up with lines like 'Why don't you go away and come back ten percent cooler?'

She also has developed a habit of coming up to me and whispering quietly things like, 'You do realise you're the uncoolest person in the office and that no one likes you?' To which I respond along the lines of 'Please go away and cut yourself'.

Yesterday our wee emo morphed from intern into production assistant so we took her out for lunch and gave her a bunch of flowers.

I had given her the day off on Thursday as I'd made her work practically sixty hours the week before (yeah, I haven't mentioned the part of her being worth her weight in gold but I don't want her getting the idea that she is punching well above her weight just yet).

I texted her on her day off, 'Child, do you have lunch plans tomorrow? If so, cancel them.'

She came back with, 'Consider it done.'

Then, 'Is it something exciting I'm canceling my lunch plans for? Or does it involve you?'

I texted back, 'I've hired you out to Insertnameoftelevisionproductioncompany. You're going to be a featured extra in a snuff movie.'

She came back with, 'Ha, who knew you could be funny?'

Me: 'Well, you've only got 24 hours to enjoy that wit Baby Emo, so enjoy it while you can.'

She is such a joy to have around.


Fat Sparrow said...

"To which I respond along the lines of 'Please go away and cut yourself'."

Quite possibly one of the best come-back lines I've heard in a while.

laughykate said...

Oh thank you, Fat Sparrow!