I reckon my dream brain has discovered the datura plant....

...cause I've been having some crazy-arse dreams lately.

Not last night but the night before I dreamt that my sister and I were on separate business trips to a small town near to where we were brought up. I am not sure what work she was doing but I was being given a tour of the brand new state-of-the-art prison that had been recently built. (This town doesn't have a cop, let alone a prison).

We were both going to stay with our parents afterwards and on the bus back we realised we had left our luggage at the hotel (this place doesn't have a hotel and the only bus service that would have got us to our parents would have been the school bus).

On the journey back we realised that we were going to not our parents' house they live in today, but the one we grew up in. On the journey down a little country road we passed an enormous swimming complex. (The village near where we grew up in barely has a school pool).

But this swimming complex wasn't made out of concrete and the normal stuff swimming complexes are made out of. No, no, no old datura brain invented a complex that was just channels of water dug straight into the paddock, like a massive racing track but with more bendy bits. Oh and, it was full of many many swimmers with red and yellow swimming caps.

When we eventually got to our parent's house we discovered they had a lodger, television presenter Newsboy.

He's walks into my parent's living room and proceeds to work out in a lime green g-string, in front of us.

(My parent's are more likely to be raising baby monkeys in their living room than have a home gym in the living room. Can't speak for Newsboy).

And then my uber-fit, very slim brother walks in and he's laughing cause he's suddenly developed a belly. NO other body fat, just a belly.

Last night I dreamt I was about to go to a dinner party that David Bain, who is currently being retried on five counts of murder, was attending. And I suddenly became a little anxious as I didn't know whether it was cool to ask him what twelve years in jail was like, or not.

And then my father's off to Borneo for a conference.

Sigh.

I am weird.

Okay, so the bit about Borneo is actually true.