Saturday, August 15, 2009

And if I was also scared of spiders, I think I would throw myself under a bus.

'Kate, have you ever skydived before?'

'Ummmmmm, nope. Not in recent memory.' (Never have, never will).

'Would you like to do one?'

'Ummmmmm, no I don't really think so.'( Are you out of your mind? Contemplating imminent death for twenty minutes isn't my idea of fun.)

'But you can have one - for free.'

'Ummmmmm, well, umm, thank you, and that's very kind of you buuttttttt, nope, I'm okay.' (The only way I am getting out a plane at five thousand feet is if I am you push me out with a gun at my head).

'I really think you should, it would help you understand the experience.'

'That's okay, I have a pretty good imagination.' (I don't think you have quite grasped the fact that I'm just a big pussy girl's blouse. You are talking to possibly one of the few people on the planet who has turned down the offer of at least five bungee jumps.)

Sigh.

Sometimes my job is really wasted on me.

16 comments:

leeann said...

"big pussy girl's blouse".... I'm so stealing that. I need something new to call Monkey.

laughykate said...

Steal away Leeann !There's plenty more where that came from.

Janie Jones said...

I would not call you a pussy, that is just plain smart. Personally I think skydiving is just a bit insane, but who am I to judge?

Fat Sparrow said...

I really never understood the point of jumping out of a perfectly good, operational airplane.

And I just love the people who natter on about "You have to experience it, you just don't understand otherwise." Funny how they never say that about oh, shooting yourself in the thigh, shitting yourself in public, or catching a really bad case of crabs.

I swear, there's an amazing number of people walking around out there where you just know air's getting in.

laughykate said...

Thank you Janie! I am with you on the insane part. The guy who was asking me wears a scarf around his neck (he is a tandem skydiver) to protect him from the people who chunder.

Fat Sparrow - talk to me. I reckon people say that just because they are on such a high because they SURVIVED the ordeal.

Holemaster said...

Ah go on. Go on go on go on go on. I did one years ago and it was brilliant.

There were plenty of strap-on jokes that day. "Oh look at the dick on that girl" I think I may have started the ball rolling actually.

laughykate said...

Hmmm, I'm thinking you're holding that rolling ball, Holemaster.

Re: the jump - was it brilliant before or after you had landed safely?

Meadow said...

Oh, LaughyKate, do it! It is a wonderful experience. I did one from 15,000 feet. The scariest part is stepping out of the plane, that's when you pause for a second and do think, 'This is a very, very stupid thing I'm doing.'

But then you free fall, tumbling over and over, losing all sense of where the earth is, as the wind screams past you.

The sudden contrast then when the chute opens and you realise you are probably in the calmest, most serene place you ever will be. It's tranquil and cool and to see the curve of the earth from within the sky... Breathtaking.

I agree with you on the bungee. I did the world's highest off Bloukran's Bridge in South Africa. It was a buzz but not something I want to do again.

Skydive? Yes, I will do that again. One of my most beautiful experiences. Go for it!

Artemisia said...

You know, you can't understand jail either unless you've experienced it. Really. You don't see everyone encouraged to go to jail now, do you?

I hate it when people pull that line on you. If I wanted to jump out off a functioning airplane, I would have said YES. Now leave me the fuck alone!

laughykate said...

Meadow - you did one from 15,000 feet !!!!! Oh,now that's brave.

Having said that - once I'd conquered the scary part I reckon I would feel ripped off if the fun part only lasted for a few minutes.

And the world's biggest bungee? That makes me feel ill - I reckon I would get nervous even looking at the world's biggest bungee.

Artesmia, it's just that line that gets me, 'jump out of a functioning airpplane.' It's up there with 'swim with alligator who isn't that hungry'.

tinman18 said...

About ten seconds ago I did a post about my son wanting to go SkyDiving, and then I came here...

laughykate said...

Snap ! It can't be all that bad Tinman, I just did a Google search on 'skydiving survivor' and got 3,160,000 results.

tinman18 said...

Yes, but "skydiving accidents" gives you 367,000....

laughykate said...

I had wondered about Googling that....but being such a Polly-freaking-anna went for the upside.

Holemaster said...

it was great LK. I did a static line jump which is only from about 2,000 ft with no freefall. But the floating down gradually to the ground is wonderful. I had no, eh strap-on so I was alone which made it even better.

laughykate said...

Don't make it sound so good - between you and Meadow I will lose the courage of my convictions.