Text conversation yesterday evening at approximately 17.01. betweent the Student (21) and myself (somewhat older).
Student: 'Did you say you were coming back to the office? I have just left but X is still there.'
Me: 'Ya lazy sheit! So early ? On a Friday? Am about to walk back in.'
Student: 'I have Fridayitis.'
Me: 'Pussy yoof.'
Student: 'At least I am not a midget goth.'
I mean, where's the respect?
Someone obviously didn't get enough beatings, growing up.
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21 comments:
I thought you were pink all over and wore a crown. Have you been lying to us all this time???
The beatings should obviously commence, and continue until moral improves.
From one midget (former) goth to another, kick him in the shins and play "Bela Lugosi's Dead" over the sound system, that'll learn him.
Otepoti, the pink was in the wash on Friday, that's all. The crown, however, was firmly in place.
Fat Sparrow, wise advice, but what do you think - a kick to the shins - or a punch to the kidneys?
At only 5 feet tall, I have found a good elbow to the balls to be quite effective, but then again, I'm vicious.
It really works quite well in crowds, though (concerts, city centers, etc.), especially because I look like innocence itself. You can get away with a lot when you look all innocent and sweet.
You play it well, Fat Sparrow.
I know someone who worked on the film Willow who said the kidney punch was the method the dwarfs used when they wanted to get to the bar quickly.
Kidney punches are effective, but since you have to be behind the person, if they stagger back they're all over you like white on rice. Not a good thing.
With the elbow in the balls, you can get the person on either side of you, and then you have a lateral opening which you can then continue to make your way to the front. It takes a bit longer, but it's actually less noticeable as no one ever suspects a short, sweet girl to have elbowed someone in the balls. Plus, with refined technique, you can do it with a purse over your shoulder and carrying two beers in plastic cups, even. I never even sloshed.
Wow. I salute you, Sensei.
Oh, that's nothing, you should see me do my "These are not the drugs you are looking for" when my best friend and I got pulled over, haha.
Please tell me you didn't perform the Ball Elbow on the nice officer.
"Otepoti, the pink was in the wash on Friday, that's all. The crown, however, was firmly in place."
Oh well, that's a relief. I'd hate to start thinking of you as a bratz instead of a barbie.
Too short for Barbie - I much preferred Skipper.
But you've reminded me, I met a real live Ken in the weekend. No shit.
*is still slightly unnerved*
Was he anatomically correct?
Couldn't say specifically, however he looked like his upper body had been inflated with a foot pump.
So to recap...
Are you a midget?
Are you a goth?
At five foot three I don't think I technically qualify in the dwarf category (although some of my more bastard-friends would beg to differ).
And I think most goths would be suitably appalled at my wardrobe - far too much colour and I suspect I'm wired far too happily to class as one, as well.
So I think that's a fail on both accounts.
Haha, I'm shorter than you. Wait, I guess the joke's on me on that one... And it's only by an inch, anyway.
I was a Perky Goth, back in the 80's. That meant I got to wear what I wanted to, and carry Hello Kitty and My Little Twin Stars handbags. It seems we're a dying breed.
Actually Fat Sparrow, chances are we're even closer in height. I still claim my height measurement from school - that was before someone whipped a disc out of my back. When the surgeon told me that I had lost some height, I was mortified. 'But Kate, it's only this much.' (Holds two fingers not very far apart).
'Mr Quack, when you're my height, every last millimetre is VERY important.'
You know, logically, if they took one out, could they not put one in?
Once I got out of elementary school, I wasn't too bothered about being short. I loved it in Junior High and High School, as I was the only girl that could wear high heels and still be short enough to dance with any boy.
I've found that I'm stooping again now that I'm older (did it as a teen to vainly try and hide massive norks)... The Spouse Sparrow is about an inch shorter than me (not that he would ever, ever admit it) and it seems that subconsciously I've been catering to his Napoleon complex and have been slumping these past few years. I finally bought some new clothes this week, and I have to wear a bit of a heel with some of them, so the Spouse Sparrow will just have to adjust. I did bring it up with him, but he denied that he has any such issues. :::sighs::: Yeah, that's why he accuses me of preferring tall men. When you're my height, almost everyone is taller than me!
So did being short bother you, then?
Nope, not at all. Meant that I was (and still remain, I might add) incredibly good at playing hide and seek.
The only thing that gets me is when I miss the laser beam on automatic doors and have to wave like loon to get them to open.
Hahaha, that happens to the Fledgling Sparrow all the time, and she's taller than me. I tell her it's because she doesn't have a soul. Children are truly gifts.
That is glorious. It's going to keep me chuckling all afternoon!
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