....you get hit in the nut by a falling tortoise.
But seriously, wouldn't that rip your undies ? You're minding your own business, walking down the road having a merry old time marinating in your own dream world while your aunt bangs on about the price of fish when WHHHHHHHHHHHARRRRRRRRRRRRUUMMMMMPPPPPPPPPP! You get taken out by a falling Testudinidae that somebody has just hurled out the window.
12-year-old Cheng Cheng from Chongqing in China was doing just that when she got planted on the footpath. ( I would post a shot of her but, have to say, she's not looking her best).
Police reckon the tortoise was hurled from a reasonable height - Cheng Cheng got concussion and the tortoise got a visit from the Grim Reaper. However no one from any of the sixteen apartments in the nearby apartment building reckon they saw anything.
But what I want to know is, what would make you throw your tortoise out the window? I mean, you're hardly going to come home and discover that your tortoise has just chewed up your favourite pair of designer shoes, shagged the cat and shat in the fridge?
Granted, the tortoise was pregnant and maybe this was news to the owner who was just a little overwhelmed and possibly unhappy, ('Pregnant?! SLUT!' Hurl.)
Anyway, I'd be a little worried if I was the tortoise shot putter as Cheng Cheng's father has said, 'I am furious at this irresponsible behaviour. If I do not have a confession from the guilty tortoise thrower I will sue everybody in the building.'
I am wondering what the punishment is for throwing tortoises out windows in China.
Somehow I suspect it will be more than paying for Cheng Cheng's hospital bills.