There are many things I love about living in the 21st century: heat pumps, double glazing, puffa jackets, electric blankets, air travel and Ipods. The list would go on and on but I'm busy and feeling a little bit lazy.
Things I could really do without.
Malls.
I am sure I wouldn't find them as offensive if I had grown up with them, but mall culture is only about ten years old down here and no matter how hard I try, they just give me the shits.
What would you happily do without in the 21st century?
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Mobile phones (including mine).
Potato Wedges.
Supermarket trollies that you need a coin for.
The phrase "thinking outside the box".
Christmas music in shops in November.
Oh, and the feeling of guilt because I picked all the above and not Global Warming, suicide bombing, renditioning or the threatened extinction of the tiger.
*mumbles*
Yeah, your last sentence as well. That goes without saying, um, obviously.
puffa jackets
electric blankets
Heartburn
Celebrity Chefs.
Charity Muggers
Paris Hilton
Advertising campaigns that use the word 'honest'.
But Mwa, you live in Belgium, how on earth do you keep warm?! Granted, puffa jackets are not the sexiest item of clothing on the planet, but when I'm working outside in the middle of winter in a howling southerly and driving rain, I bless the person who invented the puffa.
Holemaster, you never had it in the twentieth, huh? Haven't they invented something to fix, though?
Demure Lemure, I still haven't worked out why we all know who Paris Hilton is.
Telemarketing.
Hannah Montana.
Otherwise, it's all good.
television, the drug of a nation, breeding ignorance, and feeding radiation
My mortgage
Golf
Bankers
Trick or treat
Simon Cowell and the rest of the non-entities that poison tv.
Podge and Rodge
The fuckers down the road who have their house lit up for christmas...
Video games. They've helped create a generation of fat kids. When I was a kid we played outside.
Oh and I'd get rid of all the right-wing nut cases in the media.
Hey Stephen, what about those other Disney musicals (that your daughters have on DVD)?
Hiya Ess jay. I have to say I am grateful to television, otherwise I'd be out of a job.
SaS - mortgage, of course ! And for those people down the road, I'd suggest a molotov cocktail or a power surge.
Oh missed you there, Jayne. And why we're talking about playing outside, can I also add to the list people who want to pad playgrounds.
haters
Peach Tart - with you on that one, so with you.
People (present company excepted, of course). Getting rid of a bunch of them would really take care of most of the other things on my list.
Oh, and conspicuous consumption. We Americans are really good at that, and it really chaps my thighs.
And wait, you just got malls there 10 years ago?! How did you program your teenagers before then?
We have had malls, but the great big fuck-off malls with the whole mall culture is a relatively recent addition to our horizon.
I lived in Minnesota for 2 years and never once went to the monstrosity known as the Mall of America. My stomach flips just thinking about that sprawling space.
Just reading 'Mall of America' makes me twitchy, Medbh.
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