Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Nothing like a touch of festive Tourettes to spice up a supermarket visit.

I was walking in to the supermarket yesterday as an older man was coming out of it. He looked just like your Jo Average type, someone's husband, father, grandfather.

Until I heard him say to absolutely nobody (in a New Zealand accent), 'The only good Kiwis are dead Kiwis!'

I looked at him and carried on my way into the supermarket as he headed out into the sunshine.

However about two minutes later he appeared round the end of an aisle, looked at me dropped the c bomb as he walked by!

I was about to give it straight back to him when it slowly began to dawn on me that possibly things were not all that peachy in his attic.

I kept my head down and heard some more abuse from an aisle over and assumed Mr Wrestling-with-the-World was continuing in his work. A few minutes later I was over by the international section when he turned up again, yelling at a woman, 'Stop looking at me, I hate people looking at me! Especially women.' She then hurled back some abuse and he countered with, 'Oh I hate people like you, family people. You're all just so smug.' And then he marched off.

I went up to the woman and said, 'I wouldn't take it personally, he called me the c bomb, I think he's just a seriously good case of crackers.'

I expected her to say something along the lines of 'Thank god, I didn't know what I'd done to offend him.' But instead, she looked as if she was sizing me up to see if I was doing my own wee cha cha with reality and said, 'Riiiiiiight,' and walked off.

Which left me wondering if I had invented the whole thing in my head.

Until a guy came up to me and said, 'That guy is completely nuts.'

And made me feel a lot better about my world.

15 comments:

Holemaster said...

I love people like that. A regular in my local shop has full on conversations with himself.

Countess said...

I had a very similar experience. A lady outside ANZ told me I was fukin inbred and my brother gives it to me up the arse. I hadn't even noticed her until she opened her mouth. Scary stuff. A complete sandwich short of a picnic.

laughykate said...

Holemaster, they do make life one hell of a lot more interesting! And sometimes scary interesting., don't they?

Countess, you'd be hoping that picnic wasn't packed with sharp knives.

leeann said...

My workplace is full of people like that. A lot of them are Management.

laughykate said...

Wow, do you need flack jackets at your work?

Fat Sparrow said...

I doubt it's Tourette's. Finding someone with full-blown Tourette's who's getting whole sentences out is rare.

Schizophrenics, on the other hand... yep, I think so.

Oh yeah. My family.

laughykate said...

Christmas must be a riot in your household Fat Sparrow!

Jayne Martin said...

Over here we call people like that Republicans.

laughykate said...

Heeee!Nice.

Illanare said...

Ah... an average trip to any London supermarket...

SaS said...

Fat Sparrow, does that mean you have to buy two presents for everyone in your family??

vdog said...

Are you sure he wasn't wearing a bluetooth headset? They seem to turn most people into wankers. =)

laughykate said...

Hiya IIIanare, I keep forgetting that we are a small wee country down the bottom of the world with a teensy population!

Sas, I'm thinking Christmas is not only a riot in Fat Sparrow's house, but it could also be very expensive.

Vdog, heh, shall take more notice next time I run into the nice man.

Fat Sparrow said...

Christmas with my family is indeed a riot, or at least an armed conflict.

laughykate said...

I hope it was a fab one Fat Sparrow, and you all survived uninjured. We had a fab old time, I think the only injuries that were sustained were to our livers.