Friday, October 23, 2009

Today I illustrate just how unfunny I really can be. It'll stun you.

Recently I was staying at my cousin's house and I had the craziest of dreams. It took dream-crazy to a whole new level. Cause I really didn't think it was a dream.

I had gone to sleep in my room (we used to flat together and even though she has moved twice since, married, had two children, I still have my own room, okay?) and when I woke up I was in a different bed, different room.

I had absolutely no idea where I was. I was now in a single bed but in a completely different house. I was quite freaked out, so I got out of bed and went to the door and looked out. I was downstairs and I could hear someone talking. I looked up the stairs and I could see my not-yet sister-in-law talking. Except she looked different.

She was a teenager.

And she had a perm.

And I suddenly worked it out. I knew exactly where I was!

I was in my not-yet sister-in-law's mother's house.

And it was about 1989.

I had gone to sleep and woken up in 1989!

And do you know what my first thought was?

'Wow, this is cool, I am going to win so many bets.'

Fortunately I was dragged back to 2009 by my cousin's small daughters who were burying me under a mountain of pillows. If anyone wants to start an euthanasia service, I can put you in touch with the perfect little workers. You could call it Snuff Princesses.

Now isn't that a business opportunity to die for ?

Hah, I am killing myself here!

Okay, enough with the lame one liners, I will stop now.

Happy Friday.


injaynesworld said...

What I wouldn't give to have my 1989 arms back. Next time can I go with you?

laughykate said...


I am really looking forward to making a killing on all forms of gambling.

Fat Sparrow said...

Oh yes, I was not too shabby looking in 1989. Now, I am twice the woman I was in 1989, dammit. And to have back that perfect belly I had, pre-children, no stretch marks. And my ass! I had a lovely ass! And when I went to flash my boobs, I didn't have to lift my skirt! :::sighs::: Time and gravity are a bitch.

laughykate said...

But I bet you like the way you dress more now, though?

Fat Sparrow said...

Oh hell no!

I'll take 80's perky-goth skank-whore over plus-size any day.

Besides, I was kewl.

laughykate said...

You dressed like Madonna, didn't you? !

Fat Sparrow said...

:::dies::: As if! Siouxsie with a "Hello Kitty" purse. With flaming red hair.

One of these days when the Spouse Sparrow susses out this new scanner, I'm gonna have to post some old pics of me. There's one of me in 1976, when I was 6, in my nightgown, sitting in the back of a pick-up truck full of dead armadillos. We were visiting my Okie relatives in Oklahoma, of course.

PETA will love that one, I'm sure.

SaS said...

I got married in 1989, not sure if I want to go back *checks to see if wife is looking*...

tinman18 said...

Not unfunny at all, Snuff Princesses is a brilliant name.

Mwa said...

That is a crazy crazy dream.

laughykate said...

Please, please Spouse Sparrow could you work out the scanner? Pleeeease?

Come on Sas, surely you were looking sharp? Were there any zips on an angle involved?

Why thank you Tinman. It started out as Puff Princesses, but evolved.

Oh yeah Mwa, I've flown before in dreams, but it was a first time for time travel.

Fat Sparrow said...

He's working on the scanner thing. Our computer's ancient (2006) and so we bought a new, but older model scanner (as all the new ones have this new-fangled wireless thing, doubt that will catch on!) but as usual it's a PC so of course even though both the computer and the scanner are HP, they're having compatibility issues. They're currently seeing a therapist to try to work things out.

"Snuff Princesses" would make an excellent name for a band, by the way. For some reason I'm always on the lookout for great band names (I blame Dave Barry) and short story names. Sometimes if you get a good name for a story, it works itself in to a story. I have found that the same is not true of bands, unfortunately. But then again, none of them took my advice on names, and so I blame them for their suckyness.

laughykate said...

I totally agree with you on the name thing! On more than one occasion the name has come first and the story followed, with me.

Medbh said...

1989 was a great year for me.

laughykate said...

As I said before, I am slowly removing all evidence of my existence. Much happier with 2009.