Friday, June 12, 2009

When washing machines go bad.

This looks like a normal washing machine, yes?Don't be fooled people, appearances can be deceiving.

My cousin sent me the link to the Trade Me sale for said washing machine. It transpires that this is not your normal, reliable, somewhat dull (but functional) washing machine, but Possessed Psycho Washing Machine from Hell.

I quote:

'It's the loudest most violent sounding washing machine I have ever encountered. It makes guests scared and children cry. I've lived with it like that for almost a year and it still scares me.Once while washing a load of towels it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the other side and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deep freeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one.

Luckily it sucked its own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.

I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.

On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.

Thankfully it's bite is not as bad as its bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it's supposed to.It leaks a bit when it's running, always has.Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I'm still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.'

If you're in the market for a new washing machine and Scariest Washing Machine on the Planet interests you, bidding currently sits at $265 and the auction closes on Thursday.


Anonymous said...

Really? The bidding is at $265?

You have to hand it to the guy that's doing the selling, then. He's discovered a whole new marketing technique.

Can't wait till he sells his car -
"buy this car, four bald tires, seven uncareful owners, dead body in boot - nah, don't know where it came from - $30,000."

laughykate said...

Tinman, this story has been attracting lots of media today. The bidding is now up to $2,520.

Even better, the seller is also auctioning the pictures of the dinosaurs he viewed through the portal(that accompanied photos of the washine machine on Trademe) for charity. They're all sitting at over $250 !

Holemaster said...

I suspect some lonely women may be the highest bidders. Maybe I should auction my new prize to go with it.

laughykate said...

Holemaster - bidding is now at $2600, if you throw in your prize, I expect bidding would go OFF.

Daily Daydreamer said...

A saddle, on a washing machine?? Genius!

laughykate said...

Quite outstanding, really. I quite like the idea of the steel spiked version, as well.