Sunday, September 06, 2009

Hit me, baby.

So it's just been announced that Peter Jackson's latest movie is going be 200 million dollar epic based on the life of Russian mobster Igor Borisovich Rabaev. While it hasn't been confirmed who is to play Rabaev, there has been a lot of speculation over who may get the role. Says Jackson, 'We had hope to cast Michael Jackson, however we have had to rule him out after his burial last week.'

While he won't yet reveal where the movie will be shot, it has been rumoured that Hobbiton is one of the locations being considered.

That, good people, is obviously a completely fictitious bunch of sentences shamelessly designed for the purpose of gaining traffic to this blog. As I have said before, aside from the time the Australian Daily Telegraph linked to me for this post the most hits I have ever had was the day I wrote a post that included Peter Jackson and Russian mobster.

So why the need to up the ante on the traffic?

Well, you see, yesterday I received this email from my brother-in-law :

So far today:LaughyKate has had X unique visitors and X page views.
Quote Unquote has had (insert many more) X unique visitors and (insert many more) x page views.

No, I don't understand it either.

Ya see, the thing is, normally we get in the same vicinity of hits, however yesterday this blog was royally spanked by his blog.

And I'm sorry, but I am not taking that lying down. I have standards. Hence this post - an unashamed, unadulterated attempt to regain some ground by me acting my shoe size.

And while I'm here I might as well give myself all the help I can, so here we go - Google Search, I hope you have your ears on cause I'm talking to ya; Playboy Mansion, Brittany Spears naked, Daniel Craig naked, how to make money fast, All Blacks scandal, Anna Nicole Smith's drug cocktail, Star Wars, playground padding (you would be surprised/unnerved at the number of people who google this), knitting patterns (they tell me knitting is huge), what is Scientology, Chinese for beginners.

And why don't we throw in 2008's top google searches, just for good measure: sarah palin, beijing 2008, facebook login, tuenti, heath ledger, obama, nasza klasa (me either - it's a Polish social networking site), wer kennt wen (German one) ,euro 2008, jonas brothers.

Righto, I think that's enough for now.

Game on, let's sit back and count.


Mwa said...

Very good idea, but next time you should provide links with each one. That way the people who end up on your blog are actually helped in their pursuit.

womaninblack said...

My big hits are for:

Carrot porn
Sexy secretary
I fail
Big breasts
Knitted vagina

One of these days, I will write a post solely about the above topics. Then the internet will implode as the world rushes to read it.

Or, more likely, I will be arrested.

laughykate said...

Good idea Mwa, except I am far too lazy to take this get-more-hits thing seriously. (Or perhaps I should just apologise for getting people here under false pretenses).

Welcome Womeninblack. Heh, that's a great list -PLEASE write that post. I have had a 'wombat sphincter' end up here.

Tim said...

This was the first blog post that made me laugh out loud in quite a while.

Acting your shoe size is a particularly good line.

Please keep us updated on how this worked; I'll have to remember to try this if ever I start a blog.

laughykate said...

Why thank you, Tim.

(Oh and, has been working. Hits a lot less shabby than previous day!)

Anonymous said...

I tried "midget goth", but you only turned up on the second page (and you don't wanna see some of the things on the first).

But "pussy yoof", from the same post, puts you at number one.

laughykate said...

Hah!I think that is possibly the first time I've come the top of anything.

*swells with pride*

Grow Up said...

He'll never top Bad Taste.

Though Braindead was good too.

laughykate said...

I wonder if he would ever turn Bad Taste into a trilogy?

whoopsadaisy said...

Ha love this post, it also made me laugh out loud for real-see the way I typed the words instead of just 'lol' - it's cos I really mean it :D

laughykate said...

Oh, thank you Whoopsdaisy!